Early in my battle with severe social anxiety and selective mutism, I would assume that there was some kind of magical cure out there that I was missing out on. For a long time, I thought, for me, that that magical cure was changing schools, and that after I changed schools, I could live the anxiety-free life that I had always dreamed of. It is not until now, after changing schools and developing depression on top of severe social anxiety that I am realizing that mental Illnesses do not come with a "magic cure" and that sometimes, things are going to get much worse before they get better.
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Thank you to my 11th grade English teacher who made me feel comfortable enough to say my first words to her.
Thank you to the nurse in the Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Ward that allowed me to write down how I was feeling during a panic attack instead of making me “use my words”. Thank you to my 11th grade guidance counselor who gave up all of his lunch hours to make sure that I wasn’t alone. Thank you to my amazing school that makes every accommodation imaginable to ensure that I am comfortable and successful. Thank you to my amazing therapist who makes herself available outside of our sessions. Thank you to the classmate who exchanged letters with me to make me feel more comfortable and less alone. Thank you to my extremely supportive family who sends me their prayers and well wishes through cards, text messages, and emails. Thank you to my amazing online British friend for always being there for me when I need to talk. Thank you to the teacher who rescued me from the bathroom when I was having a panic attack. Thank you to the stranger who came up to me when I was having a panic attack and made sure I was ok. Thank you to the amazing girls in my residence for being so caring, understanding, and supportive. Thank you to my amazing principal who called my house to check on me when I was to sick to go to school. Thank you for not giving up on me. Although I have been having an extremely hard time lately, I will never forget the amazing actions of the people that have helped me and I am extremely thankful for the extremely supportive community that surrounds me. Be supportive to those suffering. Trust me; it truly does make all the difference. I have selective mutism, severe social anxiety, and depression, but I am much more than that. These diagnoses will not define me. Through others acts of kindness and support, I will overcome this! ***If you believe that #MentalHealthMatters, join me this next week in posting about your experiences at school, at home, at church . Join me in a week of awareness! May our brothers and sisters who do or do not suffer from mental illness stand in solidarity with us while we attempt to educate and understand each other. Teachers must become more educated in mental health issues, and each public elementary, middle, and/or high school needs to have appropriate policies in order to protect children who have suffered violence, sexual abuse, and bullying at school. Pass this along!*** This week, despite school still being in session, I am home. Why? Because I am living proof that mental illness doesn't just go away, and sometimes, it can get worse before it gets better. Last week, despite overcoming so much over the past months, I experienced some of the worst days of my life. Though these days were tough, they taught me valuable lessons about overcoming obstacles in life, and that no matter what, you should never give up.
Today I did something that I never thought I would ever do in my lifetime. I stood up in front of the entire school and explained what my journey with selective mutism has taught me. Its selective mutism awareness month! What are you doing to raise awareness?
In this post, I am going to give you guys a quick life update as well as tell you guys how I am spreading more awareness this month! I strongly believe that with any illness, whether it be physical or mental, it is extremely important to have a support system and people you can talk to. That being said, it is often quite difficult for teens and adults with selective mutism to connect with others, not only because of their limited ability to communicate, but also because of a lack of understanding of this disorder.Though we live almost 3000 miles apart, Lizzie, who also has selective mutism and is from London, UK, and I have been messaging back and forth now for about 10 months. Today,though we have never seen each other face to face, we are so close that we consider ourselves more like sisters than friends. Our online friendship has not only significantly improved our qualities of life but it has also given us so much more determination and hope for the future.
When something goes wrong or a mistake has been made, many people find it much easier to point the finger at themselves. But, what many people may not realize is that constantly blaming ourselves has a very negative effect on our self-esteem and mental health. Having self-compassion, for me personally, has been a work in progress for many years now. I have made a list of 4 things that have helped me the most in having more acceptance for who I am in hopes that someone reading this can begin to feel more compassion and acceptance towards themselves as well:
As the summer is quickly winding down and the back-to-school season is approaching, it seems that everywhere we look, we are constantly reminded of the worries and excitements of this time of year through tv commercials, flyers, and radio ads. For families affected by selective mutism, this can be an extremely stressful time of year. Not only do they share the same worries as the typical parent of school-aged children, but they must also worry about things that most parents take for granted, such as how their child will make friends, ask to use the washroom, or tell someone if they hurt themselves on the playground. Having a supportive and understanding teacher during this time can definitely mean the difference between the child having a terrible or manageable experience at school. That being said, it can sometimes be difficult for teachers of students with selective mutism to understand and help someone living with this disorder. I have therefore compiled a list of tips that could potentially help teachers understand and manage having a student with this disorder in their classroom.
As parents, classmates, and friends of someone with selective mutism, it can sometimes be difficult to understand how to help them best. You want to do everything you can to help, but at the same time, you do not want to do anything that could make them feel worse or cause them to regress. I am in no way criticizing your actions, because I can only imagine how hard it must be to know someone with this disorder. I have just, from experience, compiled a list of 5 things that I wish people close to me knew about interacting with someone who has selective mutism so that it could be easier on both the person with sm as well as their friends and family:
When you have a disorder like selective mutism, where progress happens extremely slowly, it can sometimes be hard to stay motivated. When things are progressing slowly, it can sometimes be difficult to recognize how far you have come, and, from experience, our failures tend to stick out more than our successes. I believe that I have come up with a system that not only allows us to reflect back on our progress, but also inspires us to continue to progress in order to beat this disorder. |
CategoriesAll About MeMy name is Lauren and I am 20 years old. I have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism that limits my ability to speak outside of my home. I believe that this disorder has touched me for a reason, and my life mission is to bring much needed awareness to this heartbreaking disorder. Welcome to my journey. Archives
January 2018
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