When something goes wrong or a mistake has been made, many people find it much easier to point the finger at themselves. But, what many people may not realize is that constantly blaming ourselves has a very negative effect on our self-esteem and mental health. Having self-compassion, for me personally, has been a work in progress for many years now. I have made a list of 4 things that have helped me the most in having more acceptance for who I am in hopes that someone reading this can begin to feel more compassion and acceptance towards themselves as well: 1. Remember that the road to recovery is not straight
I know that I have already mentioned this before, but remembering that the road to recovery is full of curves and bumps is extremely important when practicing self-compassion. Recovery from any mental illness takes a lot of patience, and if you are constantly putting pressure on yourself to always be perfect and to never have setbacks, you are setting yourself up for failure. Remember, just because you mess up does not mean that you are back at square one. Its OK and normal to have setbacks when recovering from a mental illness, and you should treat those setbacks as small bumps in the road that only encourage you to move forward, as opposed to complete failures. 2. Treat yourself as you would treat a small child The reality is that, no matter how old we are, we all have an inner child that requires love, support, encouragement, guidance, and nurturance. It is important in your everyday life to not only acknowledge this small child's presence, but to be actively involved in fulfilling their basic needs. Just as you would with a small child, you should insure that you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and talking kindly to yourself. If you treat yourself as you would a small child, you will not only feel happier and healthier, but you will ultimately feel more compassion towards yourself. 3. Keep a gratitude journal At the beginning of the summer, I began attending an anxiety and depression support group for teens. During last week's session, the facilitator told us that, through evolution, our brains are automatically programmed to think of the negatives as opposed to the positives. Now , thousands of years ago, this was a very vital trait for humans as it protected us from the dangers around us, but today, this quite often leads to unnecessary anxiety in many situations. To help reprogram our brains, the facilitator highly recommended that we keep a gratitude journal. For those who don't know, gratitude journaling is the practice of writing down things that you are thankful for each day. Now, this does not, by any means, require a great deal of commitment. In fact, the facilitator told us that if we wrote down three different things each day that we were grateful for, for a total of 21 days, our brain would get into the habit of automatically beginning to think of the positives in life instead of the negatives. 4.Turn your perceived flaw into greatness Of all the tips on this list, this tip is probably the most difficult one to abide by. That being said, for me, it has been by far the most successful thing I have done to improve my self-compassion. For years after I was diagnosed with selective mutism, I absolutely hated myself. I would blame myself and get really angry and upset over everything that selective mutism prevented me from doing. It was when I realized that having selective mutism actually enables me to do a lot of things that I would otherwise not be able to do that I started to accept myself and embrace my disorder. If I didn't have selective mutism, I would not have the amazing opportunity to talk with people from all over the world, to advocate and raise awareness for something so close to my heart, or make YouTube videos and blog posts with over 9000 views. Because of this disorder, I've been given the amazing opportunity to touch the world in ways that many people do not get a chance to do in their lifetime. I therefore encourage anyone struggling out there to reach out and use your perceived flaw to make a difference in the world. I guarantee that though it may be extremely difficult to put yourself out there at first, the amount of confidence, gratitude, and hope that you get when you begin to see that you are helping other people is all worth it.
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CategoriesAll About MeMy name is Lauren and I am 20 years old. I have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism that limits my ability to speak outside of my home. I believe that this disorder has touched me for a reason, and my life mission is to bring much needed awareness to this heartbreaking disorder. Welcome to my journey. Archives
January 2018
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