This week, despite school still being in session, I am home. Why? Because I am living proof that mental illness doesn't just go away, and sometimes, it can get worse before it gets better. Last week, despite overcoming so much over the past months, I experienced some of the worst days of my life. Though these days were tough, they taught me valuable lessons about overcoming obstacles in life, and that no matter what, you should never give up. Last week, for the second time since switching to my new school this year, I became so mentally exhausted that I started to become very down and depressed. It got to the point where this exhaustion started to take a toll on my physical health as I felt nauseous, dizzy, and could barely eat or drink anything for three days. I barely left my room, cried all the time, and spent most of the school day in the school's health centre. I felt like I had just been run over by a truck. My horrible couple of days ended with a panic attack during our school's carol service, and a trip home, where I spent the remainder of the night in the hospital waiting room, trying to figure out what was going on.
With all of this, it can be easy to forget how far you've come, and to be honest, last week, I completely stopped thinking about all the progress I had made and focused all of my attention on how I was feeling at that moment. I've learned that there are small things that you can do in order to take care of yourself and prevent things from getting as bad as they did for me last week. 1. Don't isolate yourself: Now this tip can be particularly tough for someone who suffers from social anxiety or selective mutism like me, but it is very important. Something that I did to make it a little bit easier is that I found people that had an understanding of what I was going through, whether it was a teacher, a peer, or an online friend. I know for me, I felt worse when I was alone, and therefore tried my best to be around others as much as possible, whether it was sitting with a group of people at the dining hall, having one on one conversations with peers and teachers, or messaging and seeking advice from my online best friend. 2. Know your limits: Something that I realized very quickly about having an anxiety disorder is that doing things that scare you day after day can be physically exhausting. It is important that you know your limits and take frequent breaks before things get too bad. Finding my limits is still a work in progress for me, and I usually end up prolonging the exhaustion so much that, by the end, I cannot function. Its obviously not going to be perfect the first time, but if you watch yourself closely and stop to take a break when things start to go downhill, you will see that life will become a lot more manageable. 3. Don't give up: Sometimes, when things start to go downhill, we tend to focus on the present instead of how far we have come. Think about a time when things were just as dark or darker and remember that you had strength and you got through it. If you could get through it last time, you can definitely get through it this time as well! Throughout last week, my friend Kelly told me numerous times that "It may not get better right away, but it will get more fun". Though my journey hasn't reached the fun stage yet, I have hope that one day, if I continue to believe and take care of myself, it will get there soon!
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12/16/2015 11:26:52 am
The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free. ~Oprah Winfrey
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Frances Savoie
12/16/2015 12:13:14 pm
Each day brings its own successes because each day is a learning session. We learn something new or different every day and that is what makes each day worthwhile. Better is definitely ahead for you - just take your time and you will find better around a corner. You've got it all - spirit, attitude and the smarts to get where you want to go....but don't forget to rest! When things are happening, especially positive things, we tend to forget to stop and let it all sink in while we allow our body and mind to settle down, do nothing while we get our second wind before we go forth with the next good thing. You are an inspiration! xoxo
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CategoriesAll About MeMy name is Lauren and I am 20 years old. I have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism that limits my ability to speak outside of my home. I believe that this disorder has touched me for a reason, and my life mission is to bring much needed awareness to this heartbreaking disorder. Welcome to my journey. Archives
January 2018
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